Teaser Tuesday

Happy Teaser Tuesday everyone!

It feels like I haven't did one of these in a long long time. But my days are getting hectic. School is almost here, and I really don't want to go back. The only good thing about going back to school I think is the new clothes.

Unfortunately though, I caught a cold off of my little cousin and if it doesn't clear up, I might not be able to go back the first day. Lucky me, right?

Ooh and I'm going to the bookstore today! I'm so glad Blood Promise and Break came out today, so I won't have to make two trips.

I haven't writing as much as I want to. I'm still having the usual doubts. I don't know what genre I want to stick to writing. Then there's the fact that every time I think of something new, I see a book that is similar to the idea and then I have to scrap it.

I took a few Shadow notes yesterday. I decided that having four MC's wasn't the best idea. And I am thinking maybe I should try writing it in first person. As for Under the Jeweled Sky, I am trying to flesh out my characters to make them three-dimensional.

I have been doing a lot of research though. Since UTJS is based on a lot of mythology, I have to look up everything I can.

Have Mercy is one story that I'm still working out the kinks. I've been having a few doubts about it, seeing as though I don't really write contemporary. The plot has changed dramatically and I really don't know if it might work out, but I really like it.

Okay, enough of my rambling.

This snippet is from Have Mercy.

There were a lot of people I didn't feel like talking to today, and Colby Reynolds was one of those people. She was sitting on the porch, when we pulled into the drive. The engine died, letting out one loud noisy wheeze. As I got out of the car, her eyes locked with mine. Shit.

"Hey Colby," my father said. His voice was flat, but he flashed her a soft smile which she returned with her famous mega watt one. But I could see the glint in her sparkling blue eyes. She didn't make it her business to hide it from me either.

"Oh, hi, Mr. Summerville," she replied. "How are you today?"

Her voice was obnoxiously sweet. I wanted to puke. "Fine, fine."

"That's good," she replied.

My father nodded his head, and went in the house. The door banged shut behind him. We were alone. Me and Colby. She was staring at me. I was staring at her. Her cheeks turned red, her eyes caught on fire. She closed the distance between us.

Slap.

"What the hell was that for?" I asked, touching my cheek.

"Don't play dumb, Alden," she spat, "I heard about who you screwed at Richie's party."

"Your point?"

"The girl you were locking lips with was my cousin, Amber."

Amber. Amber. Right, that was her name. I was pretty drunk that night, at Richie's party, so I really didn't get her name and I kind of forgotten what she looked like.

"I'm still not seeing your point."

"She's freakin' fifteen! That's my fuckin' point! You better be glad I didn't tell my brother about this because he would have..."

I stopped listening to her. My thoughts were on other things. Fifteen. She was fifteen. I screwed a fifteen year old. Oh, shit. I looked up at Colby.

"Is she okay? I didn't get her pregnant or anything."

"No, thank God." There was a glimmer in her eyes. A strand of her blond hair fell in front of her eyes. "I just don't know why you didn't tell me."

I nodded, "Oh, I forgot. I have to tell you about every girl I have sex with. Well, let's see, there's..."

She rolled her eyes. "Alden, you're a jerk, you know that?"

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm just really having a fucked up day."

"What's wrong?"

There was so many things I could say to answer her question. I could tell her the truth. I could tell her part of the truth, or I could lie. I didn't want to do any of those things, so I just shrugged.

"Nothing," I replied, "and for what it's worth, I didn't know she was your cousin or that she was fifteen."

"That still doesn't make everything alright."

"What do you mean? I told you I didn't know she was...."

"It doesn't make it alright for you to go down on the first person you see the night after we break up."

"Well, you said you wanted to start seeing other people."

"I know," she said.

"Then why do you care?"

"I don't." Her lips tightened, and then she moved around me. "Look, I'll see you at school or something, alright?"

"Yeah, sure. Bye." She descended down the steps and across the lawn. I didn't wait to see if she went inside her house.

Beatrice was cleaning when I walked into the kitchen. Scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing. Down on her hand and knees, her sleeves pulled up. Cleaning. The counters were as white as snow. Squeaky clean, but she just kept scrubbing. Just like my father, she had weird quirks that only showed when she was angry or whatever. She didn't look up at me when I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. She didn't look at me as I twisted the top off and took a swig. I wanted her to though. I wanted her to look at me like I was a demon from her own personal hell. I wanted her to have something to complain to my father about. But she just kept scrubbing.

"You missed a spot," I said. Beatrice muttered something under her breath, and then threw the sponge in the sink. As she passed by, she glanced at me, that look, that look that I wanted so very much to see, pasted on her face. I smirked. Sometimes I wondered if her and my father were truly made for each other.

She left the room without saying a single word.

Exclamation marks aren't allowed in post labels....

So, I happened to be surfing the net and then I saw this article that said "Panic! at the Disco" I am a huge Panic at the Disco fan and I know that they abandoned the exclamation mark a long time ago, so being the overly curious person I am, I clicked on the link only to find out that they freakin' broke up!

WTF? I mean, I really only like Brendon but they just can't break up like this....*cries*

But anyways, their new song, New Perspective, is awesome. I can't get it out of my head.

I just hope that they don't break-up break-up because I couldn't stand to lose a great band like that. And since Maroon 5 is breaking up after their next CD...

Anyways, my computer fixed itself! I don't know what happened but when I turned on my computer everything was back to normal, which is good, because all of my notes for my WIP were on there and I need those notes.

Speaking of my WIP, for now, it's title-less. It was Shadow but I don't like how plain it is. I know the title doesn't matter now but I like writing the title at the top of the page. It makes it seem official, you know?

I changed it to The Death of Me but it's written in third person so...and The Death of Them, hmm, I don't know.

I'm thinking of calling it Mercy for now but I'm sure the title will come along sooner or later.


Okay, off to write! Have fabulous days everyone!

Teaser Tuesday

So, this has been both a crazy and exciting week.

It's good because amazing writing Kristin a.k.a Red.Ink.Rain has an agent and soon people will be able to read CoS someday soon.

A few days ago I decided that I needed to start writing. I've been reading and reading, and reading is good especially when you're writing but I needed to write, so I did write. But then the ceiling fell in and there's soot and dust everywhere. So, I haven't been home till today and the repairmen are still here so I didn't get a lot done.

Today's tease is from Shadow (I know right.) I need to write this story. Even though it's taking me a really long time to write it, I can not let it go.

What I want to know is would you pick this up?

Shadow

"Police say that they are calling them the 72 Princes..." the reporter said, his eyebrows furrowed. As Victoria stared at the screen, she could see yellow crime scene tape, it wrapped around a building with a sign that flickered Harold's in neon blue letters. In the light of the coming dawn, it looked like the dying embers of a blue flame. One by one, stretchers were pulled out. A white blanket covered the bodies from head to toe. Victoria didn't see not one survivor. "...they can be responsible for at least half of the crimes that are going on in the..."

There was a click and then the screen went black.

"That's enough of that." Her aunt, Josie, stood up from her chair and moved over towards the window, her arms folded across her chest. The sunlight shone in her eyes, illuminating the dark shadows beneath them.
"I was watching that," she murmured.
Josie turned to look at her and then sighed, "Your mother can still hear what's going on around her. I'm sure she wouldn't want to listen about death and gangs."
Victoria could feel her eyebrows crease. She wanted to tell her aunt that her mother was never going to wake up and that she was as good as dead, but she bit the words back, letting the bitterness they were shrouded in, poison her mood. She slumped down in her chair, pulling the thin white blanket up to her chin.

"I can ask a nurse for some more blankets."
"No, I'm fine." There was a glimmer in Josie's eyes, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she took her blanket and placed it over her sister's still body. Victoria looked at her mother now. Her skin, though a vibrant brown had an ashen pallor to it. As the fabric brushed her skin, her eyes never fluttered, her lips never parted. If it weren't for the heart monitor mapping out the steady beat of her heart, she would not have known she was alive.

"She looks so peaceful," Josie whispered, smoothing back the dark hair that fell around the pillow. Victoria turned away, her teeth penetrating the skin in her lips. She could feel the pain, but it wasn't as potent as the heat that was rising up her neck. Her mother was "resting in peace" while she lived in torment. Tears stung her irises, but they were forced back into their cages when she heard the familiar a creak. Her aunt had sat back down, a stone expression pasted on her face.

"Devon called," Josie started. "He's getting along fine at Harvard."
"That's not a surprise." It really wasn't. Devon was smart. He was brilliant. He was going to go far. She loved her cousin a lot, but she was tired of hearing about him. Her aunt's face frowned, which made Victoria feel even more sour. It was hard to look at her aunt, without feeling guilty for saying anything mean. Before her mother got into a coma, she used to be this bright, happy, care-free person. It showed in her large golden-brown eyes, that looked almost like a child's, as she stared off into space.

"No, I guess it isn't." she paused. "I'm going to go get some coffee. Do you want anything?"

"Hot chocolate, please." Josie fished around in her purse for her wallet, fixed her hair in the mirror, and left, leaving Victoria alone with her mother. She tried focusing her attention on the blank screen. Her eyes got lost in the symphony of black pixels, but even in her peripheral vision she could see the long, white outline of her mother. Turning over on her side, she tried to go back to sleep. It was of no use. The cot was uncomfortable. For one, it was too long. Her feet hung off the bottom, free to freezing temperature of the room. The arm rest poked her in the side, and the more she tossed and turned, the worse it got. So, she had to keep in a feeble position all night. Because of that, her back was now aching. She could feel the pain in her spine, it resonated to other places the longer she lay in that position.

Through the window in the door, she could see the heads of people walking by. Doctors with masks over their faces, nurses with frazzled hair, all-nighters with cup-of-coffee eyes. She stared at them, not understanding how they could do it. This was the first time she had came to visit her mother and already she felt like she was going to go crazy. The walls were white. The floors were white. The blankets and the pillows, everything was white. Like an insane asylum. She wanted to get out. She wanted to breathe in fresh air, her lungs felt like they were going to collapse. Grunting, she sat up and looked around, failing to avoid the body which was her mother. She looked so peaceful. There was not a smile or a frown or a crazed look on her face. It was a blank sheet, almost as if what happened years ago didn't happen.

Outlining and Why I Don't Do It

Outlining works for some people and I'll admit that it did get me through the first chapter. But, to me, they just seem so organized, you know, with the numbers and letters and I'm like: Writing a book is not an English assignment. There are no specific guidelines to writing one. You just have to have a plot and know where your characters are going in this plot. That said, I take notes. I make list. I write them down. I store them in my head. Screw outlines. I mean, what's the point of outlining when you know exactly what's going to happen from the beginning all the way through to the end. Okay, I don't know what's going to happen at the end, but that's the point of writing, right? Paving your own road to wherever it is your story is gonna go.

THINGS I KNOW ABOUT SHADOW

1. I have four MC's: Victoria, Brayden, Gillian, and Wesley.

2. There are Angels, Demons, Shadows, and a whole bunch of other creatures that make me want to lock my closet door at night.

3. Death is personified, and despite all the things you know about him, he's really a nice guy.

4. Victoria's cousin, Devon, is apart of a gang called The 72 Princes and they're up to no good.

5. Victoria's mother has "Alzheimer's"

6. Gabriel is sexy *

7. The Seven Deadly Sins play a part in this novel

8. Decessus is a real place *

9. Fallen Angels are way better than vampires

10. It's an urban fantasy that keeps me up at night because it is too damn scary

That is not all I know about my novel. In fact, I know so much that I could probably marry it, if that were even possible. But that's good. When writing a novel, you have to know EVERYTHING about it, or else you won't know what the heck you're doing.

* I had a dream about Shadow last night. This is not the first dream, I had about my novel. But in this one, I was actually in Decessus, which means death in Latin. And though, there are all this dark, gray, lifeless creatures there, moaning in the pitch black of the night, I wasn't scared. And that was mainly because I saw Gabriel! Who is Victoria's sexy love interest. Sorry to give the guy airs but seriously, not only is he hot but for an Angel he is so bad. 'Nough said.

Okay, time to go put on some music and write some more.

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Thursdays are for Thinking

So, I had a wonderful day. I spent my first official day off of AW, well not completely. I totally logged on when I got home, but I haven't even posted anything, so there's a step. I really need to write and after getting a day out, I feel like I can.

I've been a hermit for the past few weeks. It wasn't my fault or maybe it was because I really don't like heat but it was a really beautiful day today and I had a hair appointment. My hair is so shiny and bouncy and stuff! I love it. But anyways, today, I realized that I love my city.

I traveled to Oakland which is the college-hospital parts of Pittsburgh. I love going there because it's so inspirational. Mostly all of the Avenues are named after historical people like there's Thackeray Avenue and Tennyson Avenue. Seeing that... and... I don't know, something just hit me.

I live in a city that most people don't think about. Sure we have had movies and TV shows filmed here in the past, but really, we don't get the attention we deserve. Pittsburgh is a beautiful place.

Seeing all the college kids and the restaurants and the shops and the atmosphere made me think about the Contemporary novel I am trying to write. It originally took place in Sheridan, North Carolina (a fictional place) but now I'm starting to have second thoughts. My horizons were broadened, my eyes were opened.

I know that sounds really corny, but have you ever stopped to take a breath and smell the roses, as they say?

Try it sometimes, especially if you have Writer's Block.

In other news, I edited the hell out of Shadow. It's becoming an addiction, really. When I can't go to sleep, I find myself aimlessly nitpicking at things. And then at four in the morning, I realized I was deeply in love with it and decided that I will write it. Don't know how long this feeling's gonna last but I'll run with it.

Along for the Ride, is turning out to be a fantastic book. I love Eli! He's another fictional boy I have to add to my list of character crushes.

I saw a lot of people that resembled my characters today. It was really weird and I felt like I could just walk up to them and start talking, but if course we'd talk about plots and things but you know, they weren't really my characters...and yeah. I'm weird, I know. But as I always say, weird is the new normal. ^_^

Teaser Tuesday

So, I'm really liking where Shadow is going and I'm so glad things decided to turn out. I feel like skipping and squeeing! Okay, but I won't do it.

Her tears was lost in her first cup of beer. After the fifth or sixth (she couldn't remember) cup, her thoughts, her heart, her feelings were buried alive and she couldn't feel a thing. Some guy with a neon green Mohawk was her bartender for the night. Whenever he saw her cup was empty, he'd quietly take it and get her a refill. Honestly, she didn't know that gentlemen like that existed these days.
She was sitting on some couch in some room with some people. Her eyes were droopy and she felt like she was a little teapot, forever tipping over and over and over. People were talking around her, their voices though loud in her ears, distant and foreign. She was trapped in her own little world and the only way she could stay in it, is if she kept drinking. No wonder why people get drunk. Bringing her Styrofoam cup to her lips, she leaned her head back, expecting to take a large gulp of bitter liquid, but all she could taste was air.
"Hey..." she murmured, holding out her hand. A shadow fell over her, but it was blurry, and pixelated. She saw a flash of green, and immediately recognized the guy.
"More," she spat.
"Victoria."
Even through her drunkenness, she was familiar with that sound. The one she had heard years ago before she had silenced it forever. Her fingers started shaking, her nails digging into the cup. It felt like something was lodged in her throat for when she gulped, she couldn't breathe. She slowly looked up into eyes that were as cold as a wintry night. They were eyes that were once distant and empty, eyes she thought she'd never see again. A wry smile pulled up his lips, as he plopped down beside her.
"Don't you recognize me?"
Her mouth tasted like ashes,"Yes, yes, of course I do." I'm drunk, so drunk.
He shook his head, those familiar black curls falling around his shoulders, and reached over to lay his hand over hers. It was warm, unlike his skin when he had...died. He was supposed to be dead, not here touching her. And yet, the feel of his skin against hers felt like a million fluttering birds in her chest.
"It feels so good to see you after all this time," he said, softly.
"How can you say that?" she snapped,"I killed you."
"You sent me to He...a better place," he winced, his face becoming the image of pain. A grunt resonated in the pit of his throat and then he was smiling again. There was so many things she wanted to ask but there was only one thing she had to say.
"I'm sorry."
His smile wavered,"For what?"
"I k..." The words were lost in the tears that started streaming down her cheeks.
"Vicky, I am not mad at you. I just wanted to see you tonight," his hand gravitated towards her cheek. He started wiping away the tears, his skin soft and comforting, as she inhaled the sweet scent he emitted. She could remember the way she had kissed him, the way his hands rested on her thighs. Everything about his touch reminded her about that night."So, are you an Angel or something?"
She didn't know for sure, but she thought she heard him scoff, and for him, that sounded odd. But when she opened her eyes, he was still smiling.
"Let's go for a walk?" His hand curled around hers, as he stood up, but she didn't budge.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?" There was a glint in his eyes, and then he sighed. "Victoria, you won't hurt me, if that's what you're worried about. Now come. Walk with me." His voice was so soft that in her drunken haze, it was irresistible. She stumbled when she stood up, and his arm immediately wrapped around her waist, steadying her as they moved through the crowd. She couldn't hear the music or anything else around her. It was as if someone had pushed the mute button, leaving her to wallow in her thoughts. And her mind wasn't empty. She was submerged into a quiet stupor, with only Tommy and the thudding of her heart to keep her company.
Outside, the air was cold, not chilly cold, but it felt as if it were absent of happiness and warmth. It was somber even. They walked along the sides of the house, until they were met by a picket fence. He stood in front her, a wistful look on his face.
"I've missed you so much," he whispered.
"I've missed you, too." His hands rested on her hips, and he pulled her closer, his touch a perfect medium of firm and gentle, light and dark, for as he held her she felt the sun and it's perilous blue sky, but she always felt darkness, thick like the purplish-black night. She didn't move away, though. There wasn't an inkling of fear or regret, as his hands explored her face, her lips, her calves. He brushed a few strands of hair out of her eyes, and let his own cloudy orbs sweep slowly over her. They rested on her chest.
"You are so beautiful," he moaned. She could feel her cheeks flushing. Even in death, they were perverts. Something cold moved against her chest, and then she remembered, the necklace. Tommy was pulling it out of her dress, his fingers tracing the designs with his thumb and index finger. His eyes were closed, and as she stared at him, she saw something different about him. His skin looked old and pale, like bones eroded by time. A black shadow surrounded him, and as he breathed out, she thought, she thought she could see teeth, yellow rotten pointed teeth, like fangs but shorter and sharper. She gasped, and then he looked at her, his lips twisting up into a smirk, his eyes were no longer the cool gray she was accustomed to. They were harsh and burned a fiery red.

His eyes were just like the one's she saw in her attic.

When things start to click...

The air I breathe smells better and life makes sense! Well, life in my book, I mean. I've been addicted to editing and revising these past couple of days. And I'm only in my second chapter! But I just couldn't get over how boring and flat it was. My first chapter is great (though I did rewrite it at least eight times.) It's just that darn second chapter that I couldn't get passed. So I haven't been writing, just deleting and deleting and then...for once in a while, I got a good night's rest.

And I woke up, and everything just fell into place.

My MC is at this Halloween party and after encountering this one guy who she wants to kiss (but she can't because she'll kill him), she gets wasted for the first time and starts hearing voices. She then sees Tommy, who is the boy she killed long ago and she follows him outside. Turns out that he's a demon and...

That's all I'm saying. It gets weird after that, but I have this thing on lock down!

The 4th was surprisingly boring. Everyone I knew had to work and some of my friends are out of town. But I did watch the fireworks. Neighbors put on their own little fireworks show and it lasted until after midnight, and I was kinda pissed because it was noisy and I was really tired.

All in all, it wasn't the best 4th of July I've ever had, but it didn't suck, wish is cool.

And it's almost time to go back to school! Ugh! Hopefully 10th grade will be as easy as 9th was.

Teaser Tuesday (and other things)

That breakdown I had a few days back, was horrible. I have them a lot, but I'm going to soldier through Shadow or Haven (I still haven't found the right title for it) but I'm going to write this story, besides it's starting to get kinda fun.

And since then, I've decided to write in third person, mainly because I was getting tired of first person and because there are three other characters whose story I'm going to tell.

Without farther ado, the first official teaser for Shadow:

It was silent as they walked save for the slow song that seemed to fade away, the farther away from the house they ventured. And they didn't walk far. Her house was surrounded by a large amount of green land and trees, lots of trees, that seemed to swallow them whole. They were in their own little world, and she couldn't have wanted anything more.
"Great party," he said.
"Thanks."
They were now standing under an oak tree, the leaves falling to the ground one by one. With the soft tunes pouring from the speakers, it almost seemed romantic. Tommy looked down, a lock of hair falling before his eyes. He bit his lip, a faint flush growing warm on his cheeks.
"There was something I wanted to tell you," he started, still looking down.
"What is..."
"I like you," Tommy said, abruptly.
Her body stiffened. She stared at him, speechless. He met her gaze, waiting for a response, she guessed. She blinked her eyes a couple of times.
"Really?" she replied, mentally kicking herself. Of course he does, that's what he just said.
"Yes," he smiled."I wanted to talk to you at school, but I was scared."
"You were scared?
"Victoria, you're amazing. You're different from the other girls. And I didn't think you'd like a guy like me."
She didn't know what to say. Like a guy like him? It was the most insane thing she has ever heard. He was gorgeous and sweet and popular. Every girl liked him. He inched closer to her, and for a moment all she could see was him and his starry eyes.
"Do you...like me?"
She wanted to scream yes a thousand times and jump up and down and squeal and laugh and kiss...yes, she wanted to kiss him. He was so close. Warmth was rolling off of his skin in tired, easy intervals and it was just them two. One kiss, was all she wanted. She slowly inched forward. She couldn't explain her feelings in a simple yes, and somehow, Victoria knew that he understood that. He moved his hand under her chin and slowly his lips met hers. She had never been kissed before, but somehow she knew what to do. Her arms wrapped instinctively around his neck, and he placed his hands lightly on her hips.
At first the kiss was slow and beautiful, but then something inside of her erupted. She kissed him harder, her lips hungrily thirsting for his. He dropped his hands, a sudden chill touching his lips. And that's when she felt that something was wrong. She opened her eyes, only to find that his gray ones were now empty and distant and filled with something she couldn't fathom. She broke the kiss, wanting him to say something but there was only a soft wheeze and then he fell back, crashing to the ground like a porcelain doll.
"Tommy!" Her voice seemed to drown out everything from the music to the beating of her own heart, as she knelt down beside him. He didn't move, his eyes never fluttered. He was just laying there, still and pale. She touched his cheek, hoping to feel warmth, hoping to feel life, but there was nothing. Standing up, she ran back to the house, her legs carrying her as fast as they could. She had to tell somebody. Tears were burning in her eyes. She had kissed him and now he was dead.

Friday Fun and Fantastic News

So, for the fantastic news, I have at least 3, 223 words in my novel! Moments after I had that breakdown, things clicked in my brain and I decided to outline! This outline has helped me so much throughout writing the first chapter, save for a few flaws here and there that I plan to fix later.

Now, for the Friday Fun. I saw this and knew that it had to go on my blog. It is crazy FUNNY!

Teaser Tuesday

I know that I'm posting this a bit early in the morning but this is my first one. I kinda like the idea of this whole alliteration thing, you know like Teaser Tuesday, Widget Wednesday etc.

Though I have only a 1,000 words of Shadow written. I just churned this teaser out today and I'm quite proud of it. This novel is weird to write for me. I can't seem to write it the traditional way, like from scene 1 to scene 2. Instead I'm writing scenes all over the place and I hope that I can piece them together.

I'm still trying to grasp Dawn's character because she's really different from me. And I cringe when telling her story because though I want it to make sense I don't want it to be cliche. I struggle with that the most.

In this scene, I feel that there is some incredible dialogue. Well, I might just be patting my back for no reason.

Without farther ado, my first Teaser Tuesday:

I'd send my guidance counselor to Hell, if it were actually possible. She stared at me, her icy blue gaze washing over me like a wave. I wanted to tell her to take a picture, it would last longer but none of my snarky remarks would help me now. I had at least 30 minutes left of this and then I would be free.
"When was the last time you did anything fun?" she asked, staring down at her clipboard.
I breathed a sigh of relief and then shrugged, as if she could see me. She probably could with the way her eyes seemed to dart at any signs of movement. They were like watch dogs, only scarier.
"Well, our definitions of fun could be really different," I said, smirking.
"Try me."
"Urs...I mean my mother usually is at work and I'm at home smoking weed and having sex with my next door neighbor. Doesn't that sound fun to you?"
I expected that stone cold expression to waver, but it was stronger than the Wall of China, though I'm sure it's been around way longer.
"Victoria..."
"Please, don't call me Victoria. It's Dawn."
"As I was saying, Dawn, you need to stop being so nonchalant about this entire situation."
"Oh, and tell me, how am I supposed to act?"
My voice was lined with sarcasm but instead of going into another bitch rant, she placed her clipboard on the table beside her and fixed her eyes on me once more.
"Well, you tell me?"
"Honestly, I don't think I want to."
She sighed and for once in the two days I've been coming to see her, I saw a glimmer of emotion on her face. It was as if she were tired of me fooling around. If I weren't Dawn, a full-fledged Soul Bringer, I would have actually cared but I just shrugged and looked down at my nails. They were in dire need of a manicure.
"Let's talk about your relationship with your parents."
"My parents?"
"Yes, that's what I said."
"Well, Ursula is always working and when she's home, well, she tries to be a mother but she's really not."
"Go on."
"Go on with what? I answered your question."
She picked up her clipboard and scribbled something. Her hand moved quickly across the paper and I wondered if what she was writing would be legible.
"What about your father? Do you have a good relationship with him?"
"I never knew him."
"Your mother never..."
"Look, I understand you're doing your job and stuff, but I don't understand what this has to do with anything. I lost my..."
It was coming. I could feel it. They were clawing at the barriers I kept up, getting closer and closer to freedom. I expected Mrs. Blair to smile or stick her tongue out because she had finally won or maybe she was winning all along. I was just a sore loser. I had come in here for two (now three) days straight thinking that I could make it seem that I, Dawn Montgomery, was okay. The truth was, I wasn't. I couldn't be.
After a few droplets escaped and slid down my cheeks, Mrs. Blair handed me the box of tissues she kept on the table. I took a couple and dabbed at my eyes. All the while, she stared at me.
"This is good."
"What? That I'm still grieving over my boyfriend or that I'm crying?"
"It's both. Dawn, it is normal for one to feel this way. You've lost someone you loved and now you're expressing your emotions. There is nothing to be ashamed of."
"Like I needed you to tell me that." The venom behind that statement was washed away by a sniffle that brought forth another waterfall.
"No, you didn't, but sometimes we all need help discovering ourselves."
I wanted to tell her that she should be a spokesperson for "coming out of the closet" but I kept my mouth shut.
"So you're saying that who I am has to do with Denny's death? That really doesn't make since."
"It's not supposed to. Life doesn't make since, if it did I would not be here talking to you."
"That sounds good to me."
Surprisingly, Mrs. Blair laughed at that and in spite of myself, I smiled.
"Does this mean I'm off the hook? I don't have to see you anymore."
"Not quite. Problems don't fix themselves in one day."
"But I've been coming to see for more than that."
"That's true but the other two sessions you gave me a hard time and we've got so much to explore. Besides, I was starting to think that you liked me."
"Yeah, right."

What do you think? Well, I know nobody is reading this but if someone happens to drop by, please tell me, I am dying to know.

I am Writer...hear me type?

I have made progress. 485 words of progress, I am proud to say. Hey, you might not think it's a lot but I've been having writer's block. *cringe*

Hopefully, I churn out more.

The first time I tried to end my life, Death was there to stop me.

'Tis is the first sentence to Shadow. Isn't it lovely? I love it and the more I read it the more it's growing on me.

I can't wait to write Death into the story. He's desperate right now for his time to shine or do whatever he does. But he's going to make a suave entrance soon. Very soon.

I have made a playlist for my novel and I even have an epigraph! It's from the Bible. Everything is moving along so smoothly, well save for the few bumps in the road! But I'm making progress!

Shadows are everywhere....

Yeesh, does Dawn have a story to tell.

Okay, here's my new idea and this one will work out, it will, it will. To be honest, it probably won't but I want it to so for the next couple of days, I'll be putting on airs to make sure that this one sticks...it has to.

This is a dark tale, mixed with romance, angels and all that other good stuff. No Vampires. Non, whatsoever. Though I wanted to, I realized that the world needed to stray away from that stuff.

Shadow is going to be the one.

It's about a girl named Dawn who is saved from Death by her Guardian Angel, who in return is stripped of his wings. Now Dawn, is Marked and must work as a sort of messenger for Death, transporting the souls to a realm in between Heaven and Hell (haven't thought of the name for it yet).

She loathes Death, especially since he made her transport her own mother to the unknown realm. But to make things worse, he loves her and will have her once the Mark wears away on her eighteenth birthday.

Throw in a mysterious guy who seems to follow you everywhere you go, saving you from a lot of suicide attempts, and what do you get?

Dawn is a trip. Even though I haven't written her down on paper, she's putting my mind through hell. And personifying Death, well that ought to be a toughy. We shall see.


I can write this. I can write this. I will write this.