Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Teaser Tuesday (and other things)

That breakdown I had a few days back, was horrible. I have them a lot, but I'm going to soldier through Shadow or Haven (I still haven't found the right title for it) but I'm going to write this story, besides it's starting to get kinda fun.

And since then, I've decided to write in third person, mainly because I was getting tired of first person and because there are three other characters whose story I'm going to tell.

Without farther ado, the first official teaser for Shadow:

It was silent as they walked save for the slow song that seemed to fade away, the farther away from the house they ventured. And they didn't walk far. Her house was surrounded by a large amount of green land and trees, lots of trees, that seemed to swallow them whole. They were in their own little world, and she couldn't have wanted anything more.
"Great party," he said.
They were now standing under an oak tree, the leaves falling to the ground one by one. With the soft tunes pouring from the speakers, it almost seemed romantic. Tommy looked down, a lock of hair falling before his eyes. He bit his lip, a faint flush growing warm on his cheeks.
"There was something I wanted to tell you," he started, still looking down.
"What is..."
"I like you," Tommy said, abruptly.
Her body stiffened. She stared at him, speechless. He met her gaze, waiting for a response, she guessed. She blinked her eyes a couple of times.
"Really?" she replied, mentally kicking herself. Of course he does, that's what he just said.
"Yes," he smiled."I wanted to talk to you at school, but I was scared."
"You were scared?
"Victoria, you're amazing. You're different from the other girls. And I didn't think you'd like a guy like me."
She didn't know what to say. Like a guy like him? It was the most insane thing she has ever heard. He was gorgeous and sweet and popular. Every girl liked him. He inched closer to her, and for a moment all she could see was him and his starry eyes.
"Do you...like me?"
She wanted to scream yes a thousand times and jump up and down and squeal and laugh and kiss...yes, she wanted to kiss him. He was so close. Warmth was rolling off of his skin in tired, easy intervals and it was just them two. One kiss, was all she wanted. She slowly inched forward. She couldn't explain her feelings in a simple yes, and somehow, Victoria knew that he understood that. He moved his hand under her chin and slowly his lips met hers. She had never been kissed before, but somehow she knew what to do. Her arms wrapped instinctively around his neck, and he placed his hands lightly on her hips.
At first the kiss was slow and beautiful, but then something inside of her erupted. She kissed him harder, her lips hungrily thirsting for his. He dropped his hands, a sudden chill touching his lips. And that's when she felt that something was wrong. She opened her eyes, only to find that his gray ones were now empty and distant and filled with something she couldn't fathom. She broke the kiss, wanting him to say something but there was only a soft wheeze and then he fell back, crashing to the ground like a porcelain doll.
"Tommy!" Her voice seemed to drown out everything from the music to the beating of her own heart, as she knelt down beside him. He didn't move, his eyes never fluttered. He was just laying there, still and pale. She touched his cheek, hoping to feel warmth, hoping to feel life, but there was nothing. Standing up, she ran back to the house, her legs carrying her as fast as they could. She had to tell somebody. Tears were burning in her eyes. She had kissed him and now he was dead.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Fun and Fantastic News

So, for the fantastic news, I have at least 3, 223 words in my novel! Moments after I had that breakdown, things clicked in my brain and I decided to outline! This outline has helped me so much throughout writing the first chapter, save for a few flaws here and there that I plan to fix later.

Now, for the Friday Fun. I saw this and knew that it had to go on my blog. It is crazy FUNNY!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

breakdowns and promises

I just had yet another breakdown. They happen a lot. I get so stressed out when writing that I don't know what to do. I have so many ideas that I want to write but I'm like playing ring around the rosey with them. I feel that if I neglect one, it'll go up ashes and the on I was currently working on, well I don't know where to start it. And I hate wasting precious time.

If I can't write something, why wait around for inspiration to come. I have other ideas that are great and well, I know myself well enough to know that this cycle of giving up is just going to continue unless I dedicate myself. So I made a contract. My witness was God.

I promised, I solemnly swore that I was going to write a novel and then I put my ideas in a bag, shook it up and picked out the book I was going to write. It's one of the fresher ideas, one that's still hot out of the oven. Oh! I know I'm a horrible writer. I mean, who can be a writer without dedication? I love writing. I live for it but I just lack that drive that some people have. When I read about how people are querying and editing and revising, I am happy for them but I am also envious of them. I want that. I want to be able to have notebook after notebook file after file of words that are actually a novel. I want that. I need to prove to myself that I can do it.

Haven is my novel. I will write it. This time, I'm going to ween myself from the internet. I'm going to cut off all my resources and go back to writing...well typing because I hate using pencil and paper.

One thing I want to try is outlining. I want to do that now because for me, I've learned that just jumping in isn't a good road for me. I need to take a new approach on things.

I don't want to waste anymore time, so goodbye!

Teaser Tuesday

I know that I'm posting this a bit early in the morning but this is my first one. I kinda like the idea of this whole alliteration thing, you know like Teaser Tuesday, Widget Wednesday etc.

Though I have only a 1,000 words of Shadow written. I just churned this teaser out today and I'm quite proud of it. This novel is weird to write for me. I can't seem to write it the traditional way, like from scene 1 to scene 2. Instead I'm writing scenes all over the place and I hope that I can piece them together.

I'm still trying to grasp Dawn's character because she's really different from me. And I cringe when telling her story because though I want it to make sense I don't want it to be cliche. I struggle with that the most.

In this scene, I feel that there is some incredible dialogue. Well, I might just be patting my back for no reason.

Without farther ado, my first Teaser Tuesday:

I'd send my guidance counselor to Hell, if it were actually possible. She stared at me, her icy blue gaze washing over me like a wave. I wanted to tell her to take a picture, it would last longer but none of my snarky remarks would help me now. I had at least 30 minutes left of this and then I would be free.
"When was the last time you did anything fun?" she asked, staring down at her clipboard.
I breathed a sigh of relief and then shrugged, as if she could see me. She probably could with the way her eyes seemed to dart at any signs of movement. They were like watch dogs, only scarier.
"Well, our definitions of fun could be really different," I said, smirking.
"Try me."
"Urs...I mean my mother usually is at work and I'm at home smoking weed and having sex with my next door neighbor. Doesn't that sound fun to you?"
I expected that stone cold expression to waver, but it was stronger than the Wall of China, though I'm sure it's been around way longer.
"Please, don't call me Victoria. It's Dawn."
"As I was saying, Dawn, you need to stop being so nonchalant about this entire situation."
"Oh, and tell me, how am I supposed to act?"
My voice was lined with sarcasm but instead of going into another bitch rant, she placed her clipboard on the table beside her and fixed her eyes on me once more.
"Well, you tell me?"
"Honestly, I don't think I want to."
She sighed and for once in the two days I've been coming to see her, I saw a glimmer of emotion on her face. It was as if she were tired of me fooling around. If I weren't Dawn, a full-fledged Soul Bringer, I would have actually cared but I just shrugged and looked down at my nails. They were in dire need of a manicure.
"Let's talk about your relationship with your parents."
"My parents?"
"Yes, that's what I said."
"Well, Ursula is always working and when she's home, well, she tries to be a mother but she's really not."
"Go on."
"Go on with what? I answered your question."
She picked up her clipboard and scribbled something. Her hand moved quickly across the paper and I wondered if what she was writing would be legible.
"What about your father? Do you have a good relationship with him?"
"I never knew him."
"Your mother never..."
"Look, I understand you're doing your job and stuff, but I don't understand what this has to do with anything. I lost my..."
It was coming. I could feel it. They were clawing at the barriers I kept up, getting closer and closer to freedom. I expected Mrs. Blair to smile or stick her tongue out because she had finally won or maybe she was winning all along. I was just a sore loser. I had come in here for two (now three) days straight thinking that I could make it seem that I, Dawn Montgomery, was okay. The truth was, I wasn't. I couldn't be.
After a few droplets escaped and slid down my cheeks, Mrs. Blair handed me the box of tissues she kept on the table. I took a couple and dabbed at my eyes. All the while, she stared at me.
"This is good."
"What? That I'm still grieving over my boyfriend or that I'm crying?"
"It's both. Dawn, it is normal for one to feel this way. You've lost someone you loved and now you're expressing your emotions. There is nothing to be ashamed of."
"Like I needed you to tell me that." The venom behind that statement was washed away by a sniffle that brought forth another waterfall.
"No, you didn't, but sometimes we all need help discovering ourselves."
I wanted to tell her that she should be a spokesperson for "coming out of the closet" but I kept my mouth shut.
"So you're saying that who I am has to do with Denny's death? That really doesn't make since."
"It's not supposed to. Life doesn't make since, if it did I would not be here talking to you."
"That sounds good to me."
Surprisingly, Mrs. Blair laughed at that and in spite of myself, I smiled.
"Does this mean I'm off the hook? I don't have to see you anymore."
"Not quite. Problems don't fix themselves in one day."
"But I've been coming to see for more than that."
"That's true but the other two sessions you gave me a hard time and we've got so much to explore. Besides, I was starting to think that you liked me."
"Yeah, right."
What do you think? Well, I know nobody is reading this but if someone happens to drop by, please tell me, I am dying to know.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I am Writer...hear me type?

I have made progress. 485 words of progress, I am proud to say. Hey, you might not think it's a lot but I've been having writer's block. *cringe*

Hopefully, I churn out more.

The first time I tried to end my life, Death was there to stop me.

'Tis is the first sentence to Shadow. Isn't it lovely? I love it and the more I read it the more it's growing on me.

I can't wait to write Death into the story. He's desperate right now for his time to shine or do whatever he does. But he's going to make a suave entrance soon. Very soon.

I have made a playlist for my novel and I even have an epigraph! It's from the Bible. Everything is moving along so smoothly, well save for the few bumps in the road! But I'm making progress!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Shadows are everywhere....

Yeesh, does Dawn have a story to tell.

Okay, here's my new idea and this one will work out, it will, it will. To be honest, it probably won't but I want it to so for the next couple of days, I'll be putting on airs to make sure that this one sticks...it has to.

This is a dark tale, mixed with romance, angels and all that other good stuff. No Vampires. Non, whatsoever. Though I wanted to, I realized that the world needed to stray away from that stuff.

Shadow is going to be the one.

It's about a girl named Dawn who is saved from Death by her Guardian Angel, who in return is stripped of his wings. Now Dawn, is Marked and must work as a sort of messenger for Death, transporting the souls to a realm in between Heaven and Hell (haven't thought of the name for it yet).

She loathes Death, especially since he made her transport her own mother to the unknown realm. But to make things worse, he loves her and will have her once the Mark wears away on her eighteenth birthday.

Throw in a mysterious guy who seems to follow you everywhere you go, saving you from a lot of suicide attempts, and what do you get?

Dawn is a trip. Even though I haven't written her down on paper, she's putting my mind through hell. And personifying Death, well that ought to be a toughy. We shall see.

I can write this. I can write this. I will write this.

Monday, June 15, 2009

so much to do....

Ah, I've been gone for a long time it seems! But I've been busy, so I have an excuse or two!

Schools out for me. I'll be a sophomore next year and on Sunday I'll be fifteen. So there's a lot to be excited about.

I just finished reading Frostbite by Richelle Mead. Amazing book. I did the book review for it! And if you want to check it out, you can head over to my website. Le gasp! I forgot to tell you all, well the ones who happen to be looking at this, that I have a website. It wasn't professionally done or anything but it's pretty cool.


for the love of my words

Look around, love it, inhale it and every once and I'll be posting book reviews. And speaking of reviews, I didn't tell you guys who the AOM for June was!

*drumroll please*

It's Cage! Yeah, he's this rapper who just recently came out with a new CD. I'll admit that I never heard of him until now but he has some major skills and he writes his own songs! Y'all know how much I love artist who are actually artist. Sometime this week, I'll post why he's my artist of the month.

In other news, I've started yet another novel, well at least I'm trying to. I've been writing a lot of short fiction pieces and...yeah, hopefully an idea will stick soon.

Well, till next time,


Monday, June 1, 2009

I am a poet, yeah I know it

His Soul, My Idolatry

By Raven M.

listen to my body's hymns

hear my heavy sighs,

touch my feeble limbs,

caress my aching thighs.

with your kiss, cleanse my skin

bathe every part of me in your love

forgive my every fault, my every sin

show me the spirit my heart

seems to be deprived of.

as we dance, our eyes grow weak,

the night spins round and round,

augmented by the prayers I speak,

as we lie down.

when I rest my head against your chest,

I breathe in the smell of your purity

knowing that like your soul, I am blessed

and that our love is beautiful, in all it's obscurity.

they say that a God's word is divine

if that is true, it is yours I whisper again and again

for when you say "I love you' heaven and earth intertwine

and as you fall to sleep, I whisper 'Amen'.

In Which I Live...

I realize that I don't actually ever write a normal blog post, where I discuss normal humanly things. Like school, relationships, and blah blah blah!

Today is Monday. I hate Mondays. Especially since I never look my best and I am always extremely tired. To make things worse, I am all congested and I am going to miss the deadline for this contest I wanted to enter.

People get on my nerve. There is just that one person who you can honestly say that you hate and today I finally admitted out loud that I didn't care about him. It wasn't true before but now it is. He's pushed it too far and now, I have no choice but to let go.

I've seen the New Moon trailer! And yes, I did a fangirl squeal after watching it! Ooh me and my friends are going to go see it together when it hits the theaters! I can't wait!

I keep coming up with more story ideas! I wish someone could tell me how to stick with one idea til the end. Can anybody tell me?

There are two books that I really really need. City of Glass by Cassandra Clare and Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick. Hush Hush doesn't come out til October but my goodness, this book sounds fan-freakin-tastic!

Over the Summer, I'm going to stock up with vampire-romance-sarrah dessen-historical-make you want to cry-novels and read read read! Yep, that's me.

Ok, now time for some tea.

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